Tuesday Jan 31st- day 72

Yes, time flies and all that. Another day of working and chin-stroking, punctuated by a trip to the post office and book store. I bought a book about literary style called "The Sound on the page- style and voice in writing". I think it might help me become a Pullitzer Prize winner.

I have been continuing with some of my day job whilst I am over here, and I did some online tutoring today. We have 3 groups of students this term, and there are some interesting dynamics going on. So I am kind of intercedingbetween people who aren't getting on very well. I am still learning the extent to which I should intervene- a certain amount of conflict and energy should be allowed to happen, so long as no-one is getting bullied. So I spend a fair while contacting students and helping them to take on board what other students are saying to them without being too hurt. One of the group are encountering a lot of conflict. This week they have been discussing sexuality, which seems to have drawn the battle lines- it's an emotive subject I guess. And some students are more expressive than others! I feel pretty drained by the whole thing at times- distance learning is NOT an easy option, I can assure you of that.

To relax, I bake a chocolate brownie out of a packet. It is idiot-proof, and so it turns out pretty well. I have something to nobble during "American Idol". Judgin by Simon Cowell's pantomime performances on-screen, it seems as though America's image of the Englishman is one of two things:

1. floppy-haired fop who says "bugger" a lot, drinks tea and is kinda cute in a bumbling way
2. short and rude

I don't fall neatly into either category, and may have to invent a "third way" as is popular these days.
My Microsoft Office finally arrives in the post, but there is no product code. So I have a CD but can't get it to work. I email and phone my mate "Dermont". I have never actually managed to speak to him. He is very diligent about putting a new answerphone message every morning- "Hi, you've reached Der-mont Smith, Wednesday Februerry 1st. I'm either in a meeting or away from my phone right now..." I leave a message. I wonder what he spends the rest of his time doing? I think he might be the new Homer Simpson, scouring the premises of Zones Inc for donuts.




















Bush gives his state of the union address. No-one listens. He surprises me by describing the nation's dependence on imported oil as "a serious problem". He goes on, "The best way to break this addiction is through technology," pledging to seek a 22% increase in funding for clean energy research, including nuclear and renewable energy. Hallelujah! Just hope something comes of it. He soon returns to previous form, saying that the US was going to win in Iraq. I think the truth is that America has already lost, it's just a question of how badly.

To more serious matters, and I have got some spots. They seem to arise in pairs, prompting not only Bruce Forsyth catchphrases but also the question, is there a snake loose aboot this hoose? Or is Ann a vampire? I discount these theories, but I do wonder why I should be spotty. I can remember signing my contract of adolescence when I was 12, and agreeing to be scrupulously uncommunicative, lazy, occasionally surly, gangling, awkward around girls, foolish around boys, greasy and spotty until the age of 18. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO STOP AT THAT POINT! Unless I missed some fine print somewhere, being spotty at the age of 33 was not in the contract. The two zits on my forehead are standing items on the agenda, rearing their ugly heads every once in a while. It might be my hormones, I just don't know. I hope I am spotless for our James and Rosie's big day in Harrogate on March 18th. I know that's a long way off, but I want to be looking my best. I don't want a "special occasion spot" (see photographs of most family celebrations for the painful, swollen evidence).

Oh, and HOW D'YOU LIKE THEM APPLES? I've got a friend!!! Yup, I have been asked to someone's birthday party. I have been checking the rules (which cover social relations from the age of 3 onwards) and under "friend" it says:

1. n. someone who invites you to their birthday party
2. n. someone who you invite to your birthday party

So yes, Joe the English snowboarder has emailed me to say did I want to meet up on Thursday night for food? DID I EVER? Wow. A friend. My spots are timed to perfection to impress my new friend and his friends. "Gee, do all English guys have, like, rilly bad skin?"