Thursday Feb 2nd- day 187

"Secret diary of Chris Blackmore, aged 33 and a third"
Where's me coloured pens...?
Got up early and went for a jog in my woolly hat. It's getting really chewy now but Anne refuses to clean it so I decide to go for a shower. After I open every door in the house looking, Ann informs me the house doesn't have a shower and asks why I didnt realise given that I've been here for three weeks. Begin to write some poetry sat on the lav, the poem is actually about me sat on the lav. It's a winner and I wonder why I never thought of the subject matter before. Decide to go upstairs and count my change.....I have $32 and 15 cents mostly in coins. Gonna go to find a penny arcade later, reckon I could double my money if I stay long enough.
Today i'm going to walk only on the right hand side of the road along a route 45 degrees from 6041- see where that takes me!!
Seattle is gearing up for the Superbowl on Sunday and I'm wondering which bar to go to and watch it on me own while bothering the locals and trying to make some friends.
Went to a bookshop and bought some poncy sounding book to make me sound clever but that I'll never read.
I've got some spots. AAAAHHH!!
Met another nutter en route - seem to be attracting a lot of this kind...not sure why? Must wash my woolly hat tonight, its starting to smell a bit!
Arrived at the end of the line at 1500 hrs.....a Macdonalds!! - have a well earned McToilet break and read my new book "Crop Rotation In The 18th Century"- bought it at some gyppo book store for a dime. May plan a thesis on this topic when I get back to sheffield, I'm sure some daft bugger will give me a Tony Grant!!
Missing rosie mac terribly, wonder whether I should send her my new poem by text but decide to send her a message instead.
Went out to a bar for the rest of the evening. No one in that i knew so i nursed a bottle of Coors and wrote some more postcards. Kept clocking some guy at the end of the bar- well he kept clocking me...... he sent me a drink over (which was nice - nice people these Americans!!) I drank it, thanked him and made my goodbyes.
Anne invited some friends from the Tupperware Club over so i had the chance to meet some new friends. I also bought a new butty-box!!
Came home. Went to my bedroom and played with my friend "Roger" for a bit. The more I play with him the bigger he gets. And then he shrinks back down again
In bed for 11.......Busy day tomorrow........I Hope!

The entries above were kindly suggested by Marc, Barry and Bob. Thanks for those kind words fellas. Frightening thing is that I bet most of you read it and didn't realise it wasn't for real. Hmmm... Anyway, the real thing-

Busy day today. I have an 11 am meeting online with bosses Emmy and Digby which we hold via MSN messenger. There's lots to do and I am reminded of the need to get publishing papers. That might help me get another job at ScHARR come July when my contract ends. It's either that or start blogging professionally. Which given that three monkeys (see above) can churn out a passable imitation, might not be the best of career moves.

4 pm, I go to the Ave to meet a postgrad called Riki to talk about research and that. She's interesting, but if there any donkeys with hind legs left in her neighbourhood, I would be surprised. I do a lot of nodding. Like a donkey I suppose.

I go to a bookshop (yes, ALRIGHT!) and wander in to the back of a book reading. It's by the author of a book called "Cosmos and Psyche". "Portentous title", methinks. Turns out he is a researcher into Jungian psychology. Things get a bit weird when he starts talking about how transits are the only accurate way of predicting how someone will react to a halucinogenic experience. Not sure what a "transit" is, but I listen on. He then goes into David Icke overdrive, and I realise that this very intelligent, well-spoken and by all accounts serious researcher is basically a high-falutin' astrologer. I start clocking the audience, and realise I am in a room full of Mystic Megs and Russell Grants. Come friendly bombs and fall on the University Bookstore! He is basically some kind of charlatan, although he obviously believes in what he is saying as he describes the alignments of the planets being identical in 1914 and 1939. Oh, and there is some special alignment that caused the 1960s to be a decade of enlightenment. Hmm, false positives to the left, false positives to the right- I reckon this quack is finding what he is looking for, using Western history as a crutch. I am tempted to step forth and bellow a lusty "BOLLOCKS!" (sorry Mum) as that seems an appropriately English response. Or to convene a hastily arranged alignment between my right foot and his own crystal appendages, but as you know, I'm a lover, not a fighter. Besides, I might get filled in by a horde of angry astrologers. Although when he describes 9-11 as an obvious and inevitable consequence of some particular movements of the celestial bodies ( a Saturn-Pluto alignment, in case you were wondering), I start to find it all a bit sick, and so I vote with my feet. As I walk, I wonder whether the planets could be responsible for me being periodically zitty. If I could work out when it was going to happen, that would actually be quite helpful!

My feet take me to the U village where I meet up with new bezzie mate Joe, and his friends Shannon (from skiing), Rachel and Jenny (English, from the same Uni as him- Bristol). We go for an Italian. They pretend not to notice the spots. Then we go for a beer at the Ram, where I watched the football a while back. It's just like a local back home, apart from the 67 widescreen TVs everywhere and a 40 foot rowing boat suspended from the ceiling. You don't get that in the Walkley Cottage!

In bed for 11.......Busy day tomorrow........I Hope!